Ness's Druggy Adventure
by Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus
Summary: Ness heads to Mario's house, only to encounter things that will make you go "WTF?". Will he be able to make it to Mario's house before the whole world topples on him and his high complex mind?
1. Chapter 1

Ness's Druggy Adventure

By Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus

Ness was taking a walk to see Mario, because she wanted to get a sandwich back from him. As she merrily skipped along the way back, a Magikarp hit her in the face, making her sloppy as she noticed in disgust. Sighing as she shook her head, she continued down the road, when she spotted an empty vending machine.

"Huh? Why is there a vending machine in the middle of nowhere?" Ness asked herself as she strolled up to the vendor and looked into the small vendor hole, calling out if there was anything inside. She shrugged and whacked the vending machine with her baseball bat, which caused the vending machine to explode as soda bottles bursted out towards everywhere.

Moaning as she lied on the dirt-paved path, Ness shook her head as she stood up, grabbing a bottle of Pepsi on the ground and opening it up, drinking it as she continued walking. Nearby, Falco Lombardi and Waluigi were watching Ness making progress as they both chuckled nefariously.

"We're gonna get dat dere Ness, if it's the last thing we do!" Falco muttered as he clenched his right fist, "I'll teach her to steal my bread and wreck my beautiful arwing."

Waluigi, however, ignored Falco and took out a cigarette, lighting it up and puffing smoke as he looked up at the clear blue skies, grinning.

As Ness began singing after chucking the empty bottle of Pepsi away, she encountered Charizard on the road, holding a stop sign. ness scratched her head as she tried to go past Charizard, but the red fire-type dragon Pokemon firmly stood his place, blocking her.

"I'M SORRY, LITTLE GIRL, BUT ALL PASSENGERS MUST GO AND FIND THE COMPUTER ROOM IN ORDER TO PASS," Charizard bellowed in a loud, obnoxious voice as he used his large wings to blow Ness away.

Ness screamed, holding onto her cap as she tumbled backwards, going right by the bushes that Falco and Waluigi were hiding in. As Ness got to her sense, she was run over by fleeing members of the Subspace Army, who were being chased by Bowser and Ganondorf, who were teaming up to cause some havoc as usual. Moaning in pain, Ness got up and popped herself back into 3D, moaning a bit as she moved about on the path dizzily. Hearing her stomach growl at her, Ness looked for some grub to eat. She spotted some chocolate on the ground in front, and she squealed with delight as she lunged towards the brown sweets.

Unfortunately, Lucario just so happen to be watching this from the tallest branch of a nearby maple tree, and he tackled Ness to the ground, beating her up with rage while the chocolate was carried off by several ants, all whom were handing the chocolate to Dr. Mario, who was plotting a scheme so evil... it could spell the end of the entire universe.


	2. Chapter 2

Ness woke up, moaning weakly as she shook her head. She looked to her right, and then to her left, looking in front of her to see Lucario. Without anything to respond to, she got force palmed in the face, being knocked back by Lucario. Weakened even more, Ness was grabbed by the arm, and she was dragged by Lucario, who was in a strange hurry.

Ness looked all around her, to see that she and Lucario were in a melting glacier. Filled with skiiing Topis. As she tried to speak, Waluigi popped up in her pants and stuffed a brown cigar into her mouth, grinning gleefully as he watched her coughed. Waluigi then laughed and jumped out from the pants, figure skating past Lucario. Unfortunately, Lucario's pingas began burning, and the aura canine Pokemon began chasing after Waluigi, letting go of Ness.

As Ness twirled and twirled around, getting dizzy, she was suddenly kidnapped by Popo, who was being chased by an angry mob of penguins, led by Piplup. Before Ness could even remember how or why, King DeDeDe popped up and grabbe dNess, perfoming a new version of the Big Gay Dance, with Escargoon handling the DJ position as Waddle Dees and Waddle Doos began dancing, a Gordon being used as a disco ball, the music being a fast-paced remix of King DeDeDe's theme.

Ness screamed as she tried to break away, but DeDeDe would not allow it, and smacked her right on the head with his mallet. Ness moaned for a few minutes, before her pants were chewed off by a hungry Nintendog, who was doing a quick tug of way with a Nintencat. Her eyes twitching, Ness screamed as she tried to get back her pants, but she tripped and lost her golden tooth.

"Oh boy!" Shouted an excited Link as he grabbed the golden tooth and placed it right into his ass, running off as he started bombing some Dodongos with his boomerange, while Toon Link was firing bows at several Octoroks, so that he could eat them. Before Ness even questioned the insanity that was occuring, Waluigi reappeared, stealing Ness's cap and running off. Ness got angered and she started chasing Waluigi, but Donkey Kong got in her way, who was too obsessed with bananas that he accidentally thought Ness was a live, mutant banana.

"BANANA SLAMMA!" The tie-wearing ape shouted with glee as he grabbed his Coconut gun and fired several coconuts at Ness, which was much pain to the PSI-blessed girl.

Ness turned around to the right corner, only to be flattened by a Landmaster, which was owned by Falco Lombardi. Donkey Kong, however, managed to blast a hole through the landmaster, and contuned running towards the western direction, unaware that Ness was squashed right underneath the tank.

Falco looked at the hole and sighed as he face palmed, muttering angry to himself as he got out and left by walking towards the northern direction, "I told that stupid old hare that I personally prefer the air..."

The dog from Duck Hunt chuckled at the rhyme, and he then laughed at the flattened Ness, who looked flat and in 2D.

"What did I do to de-" Ness couldn't even finish her sentence as Ridley snatched her and flew high into the bright sunny sky, soon replaced by a deadly, powerful thunderstorm.


End file.
